I'm Still Breathing
by Harmony Sunsinger
Summary: Inuyasha had very high hopes... And they've all been torn down.


I'm Still Breathing.

"I leave the gas on,  
Walk the alleys in the dark.  
Sleep with candles burning,  
I leave the door unlocked.  
I'm weaving a rope and  
Running all the red lights.  
Did I get your attention?  
'Cause I'm sending all the signs  
And the clock is ticking,  
I'll be giving my two weeks."

As he stood alone in the snow, his mind flashed to a different time. He could see her very clearly, her long black hair falling in soft, wispy curls over the hood of her puffy pink jacket. She turned slightly, her small frame ever so graceful, and watched him over her shoulder with playful, chocolate eyes. "Come on, Inuyasha!" she called to him, giggling a little. Her hands were stuffed in her jeans pockets, he noticed, and her cheeks were a rosy color, her nose turning a little pink. "The snow won't kill ya!" she said, her tone light and enthusiastic.

Suddenly, a hand on his shoulder brought Inuyasha flying back into the present moment, and he looked up to see Mrs. Higurashi standing beside him. It was her hand on his shoulder.

The woman smiled at him sadly and looked down at the gravestone. "I know you did all you could, Inuyasha," she murmured, her eyes brimming with tears. "And I could never blame you for this. You can't blame yourself, either. You did all you could." With that said, she broke off into quiet sobs, and Inuyasha whirled to his right, his arms around her in a red blur.

"Pick your favorite shade of black.  
You'd best prepare a speech.  
Say something funny.  
Say something sweet.  
But don't say that you loved me.  
'Cause I'm still breathing,  
Though we've been dead for a while.  
This sickness has no cure,  
We're goin' down for sure.  
Already lost our grip,  
Best abandon ship, ohh."

Inuyasha spent that night upstairs, in Kagome's room. He was comforted here, surrounded by her scent. He sat in his usual spot, beside her desk, his back against the wall across from her bed. 'Her bed...' he thought, staring at it.

Without warning, his eyes began to burn with unwanted tears. He threw himself across the room, suddenly infuriated. His claws sank into the mattress, ripped through the pink comforter. He tore the sheets to shreds, then he ripped the pillow in two. But when he grabbed the other pillow in his hands... the one that Kagome had slept on every night...

No one was around, he knew.

So he pressed his face into her pillow, inhaling her sweet, flowery scent...

And Inuyasha cried.

"Maybe I was too pale,  
Maybe I was too fat.  
Maybe you wanted better,  
Had better luck in the sack.  
No formal education,  
And I swore way too much.  
But I swear you didn't fucking care,  
'Cause we were in love.  
So as I write this letter  
And shed one last tear,  
Know it's all for the better  
That we end this here.  
Let's close this chapter,  
Say one last prayer.  
But don't say that you loved me."

"Gods, Kagome, WHY?"

"Why couldn't you have just FUCKING done what I FUCKING asked you! Why couldn't you just FUCKING stay down or FUCKING behind me! Why did you have to FUCKING run out in the FUCKING open!"

"Why couldn't I have made you my fucking mate?"

He sank down further into her soft, shredded mattress, full of the remainder of her scent. In a week's time, though, it would all be gone; her floral scent would never fill his sensitive nostrils again.

Her face flashed in his mind once again. He had wanted to mate her, to marry her, to have pups and grandpups with her... He'd wanted to become lost in those milk-chocolatey eyes for the rest of his days.

He would never hear her laugh again. He would never see her eyes sparkle again. He would never argue with her again. He would never grumble about her running off to her time for school again. He would never have to promise her mother he'd keep her out of danger again. He would never have to be jealous of Hojo again. He would never see her blush again. He would never eat her cooking again. He would never carry her on his back again. He would never...

The last thought sank in slowly, and, as it did, his golden eyes widened.

He would never see Kagome Higurashi again.

"'Cause I'm still breathing.  
Though we've been dead for a while.  
This sickness has no cure,  
We're going down for sure.  
Oh, we've been diagnosed.  
So let's give up the ghost,  
'Cause I'm still breathing.  
Already lost our grip,  
Best abandon ship, ohh.  
I'm still breathing,  
I'm still breathing.  
Ohhhh."


End file.
